Today we say goodbye to Austin’s very own horror film festival, Fantastic Fest. We say goodbye to “Stone,” “30 Days of Night: Dark Days,” “Let Me In,” “Buried,” and hundreds of other engaging films. We say goodbye to Edward Norton, Ryan Reynolds, Thomas Haden Church, and all the other actors that visited our city. And we say goodbye to the very first Fantastic Fest Arcade.
But after all those dark, bloody horror movies, are you like me and scared out of your freakin’ mind? Are you scared to go into a room without first turning on the light? Do you jump when the refrigerator starts making noises? When you bend down to spit in the sink after brushing your teeth, are you afraid that when you stand back up, there’s going to be a killer standing behind you in the mirror? Is all of this making it hard to sleep?
I’ve had these problems for years. I’m one of those people who love scary movies , but when I’m alone in my bed at night, I start flipping out with fear. It all goes back to the first scary movie I ever saw: “I Know What You Did Last Summer.” I was a mere 10 years old when I first saw the flick, which probably is the root of my whole problem, but ever since then, I have been tormented by my fear of the Hook Man. But lucky enough for me, I have found a solution: the Golf Channel.
Sounds weird, right? I know. But it totally works. I used to date a golfer, and we would always watch the Golf Channel. I learned from this time in my life that the Golf Channel is the least threatening channel on TV. No matter what time of day it is, there is something boring and not scary on the channel. So on those nights where you’ve pulled the covers up to your ears to shield you from the boogie man, just flip on the Golf Channel, and you’ll be sleeping in seconds.
Holly Does ATX: Unemployment Edition 